DIE! DIE!! DIE!!!
by Can Of Beans
Summary: I kill off many charactors. Not much else to say. Yaoi Sucks! Classic4ever!


Disclaimer-I have lawyers and big, hairy friends, so there would be no point in suing me

Disclaimer-I have lawyers and big, hairy friends, so there would be no point in suing me.This is a character-bashing fic in which I kill off many characters because it's fun.

DIE! DIE!! DIE!!!

Relena was walking along the beach near her 4-story mansion.She was contemplating her relationship with Heero, wondering whether he would ever make any advances.As she reached a rocky outcrop, she sat on the rocks, watching the sunset.Since Relena is a complete idiot, she stared straight at the sun.After a few minutes, she went blind.Since she couldn't see and was on rocks, she started screaming.

"HHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Eventually, Heero actually showed up (in Zero) and shot the crap out of her, like he should've done a long time ago.After a few hours, Wufei was practicing with his katana and his mouth:

BAKA! :WHOOSH!: ONNA! :WHIF!: WEAKLI-:SOUND OF KNIFE STRIKING CASABA MELON A LA PSYCHO:Ow…my neck…ugh…

And with that, Wufei fell to the floor, dead, thank God (or Kami-Sama, whichever you want).Another few hours later, Treize (I don't care if he's already dead, I hate him, so I'm killing him again!) was sitting in his room thingy and waiting for Une to come in and give him his daily bubble bath.Suddenly, she ran in, grabbed him, and forced his head under the water until he drowned.

"My psychiatrist said this would be the only way to have single personalities."

Suddenly, a piece of plaster fell on Une's head and killed her, since it had an oven attached to it.As this happened, Quatre was in his room at the Winner Mansion, reading through a magazine.He was reading an article about forced spontaneous combustions.He was laughing at the article.

"This is total bull!There is no way to force anyone to explode without a bomb or something."

Since Quatre was a curious boy, he followed the instructions on how to do it that were stupidly printed in the article.Suddenly, he exploded (of course) and his room was splattered with blood.Later, Dorothy was in her cave watching a Ripley's Believe It or Not!On it was a guy with a foot wide handlebar mustache.

"Ha!I can beat that!"

So, she at once started to pull and tease at her already freakishly huge eyebrows. After an hour, they were 137 times bigger.They were so heavy that they ripped all of the skin off of Dorothy's face and neck (and breasts and stomach and legs…)and Dorothy of course bled to death…DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD, THE WITCH IS DEAD, THE WITCH IS DEAD…Ok.As this was happening, Zechs was practicing dramatic mask removal in his room.

"No, this isn't right either…I got it!I could do it like a pair of glasses!"

So he did, and in the process, dropped the heavy mask onto his foot.As he was stomping around aimlessly, he knocked over his collection of very sharp knives, swords, and daggers, and every single one of them fell on him, and, needless to say, killed him.After this, Trowa was sitting on his bed, trying to pull off his tight pants.Somehow, they had shrank during the day, and he could hardly get them to move.When he finally succeeded in getting the pants off with one huge tug, he held them up like a trophy, only to discover his legs had been ripped off and were still snug in the pants.He then died of blood loss.An hour later (it's now 10:00 PM) Heero was researching some files on his laptop when he sneezed.His head flew forward and hit the screen, destroying it.

"SH---!"

Heero didn't have time to finish, since the extremely frayed adapter cords hooked up to the wall had gotten drenched, and when Heero's head hit, he was electrocuted.He was dead before his smoking body hit the floor.As this happened, the Braided Baka was busy braiding his hair for a party he was going to go to with a bunch of the guys.When he got to the meeting point, he realized he was the only one there.

"Where is everyone?Hmmmm…I'll just walk to that bar across the street until they show up."

As he crossed the street, he was hit by a bus.After he came to, he was in Hell.There, many demon people welcomed them, and he was crowned the new Devil, since he was the God of Death.He also saw all of his friends that were dead.He let everyone be his assistants, except Dorothy and Relena, who he made clean his throne with pieces of rabbit fur.

Well, that's it.I've always wanted to kill Dorothy and Relena.R+R.Yaoi Sucks!


End file.
